


Glass Wall

by GalaxyGazing



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Cousin Incest, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 05:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5036338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyGazing/pseuds/GalaxyGazing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immediately following the ending argument in Show 'Em What You're Made Of. Kevin lets Brian know he still believes in him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glass Wall

 

“What about fuckin’ vocals on songs, are we gonna talk about that? Are we gonna talk about the fact that you don’t necessarily sound as good as you used to?”  
  
Well, there it is.

Kevin plays peacemaker and Nick and Brian settle down for the sole purpose of finishing the meeting so they can get the hell away from each other.

As soon as they receive the blessing from the business end of their profession to leave, everyone exits as quickly as they can. They are all desperate to retreat to separate rooms because _God, that was awkward._

Brian stays, though.

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and pretends to look out of the wall of windows. Instead of the city below, he only sees his reflection.

He’s older, now. He’s still the same, but he’s so much older, at the age when things started to break. Unfortunately, fate would have it be his voice that was the first to go.

It felt close to ironic, but that probably wasn’t the right word. The right word was probably just _sad_ —that’s wholly how he felt about the situation, anyway, much more than he ever wanted his bandmates to know.

He doesn’t need to turn around when he hears the door creak open again, he sees Kevin reflected in the glass.

Brian doesn’t acknowledge him and Kevin doesn’t say anything. Quietly and slowly, his cousin comes to stand behind him, encircle his waist, and pull Brian’s back against his broad chest. Kevin presses his lips to the fabric of Brian’s shoulder to rest his chin there and Brian feels him breathe warmly through his nose.

Soundlessly, they stay like this for some time.

In actuality, this was an entirely different can of worms. There was a time years ago when they were this close, and closer, more frequently. Then marriages happened, and Kevin dropping out and back into the band, and life in general.

During these things they realized that, in a life full of complications, this was the only one which they could control and ultimately decided it would be better if they stopped.

It didn’t keep Brian from thinking about it from time to time, though. And missing it. But both of them know that’s not what this means right now.

Kevin wants to show his sympathies. Muscle Tension Dysphonia had to be hell and he imagined being called out for it, being _accused_ of not pulling his weight in the band, was a fear that Brian had turned over his mind, hoping it would never be verbalized like it just was by Nick.

After a good five minutes Brian finally manages, “He’s right.”

The words are a small confession, so polar opposite from the way he fought tooth and nail to defend himself against Nick in front of the others. These words aren’t meant for a board room, they are meant only for Kevin.

“Don’t,” Kevin says, voice low and directly in his ear, “Don’t do that. Don’t let him get to you.”

“But he is, Kevin. I know everyone's frustrated. I know you feel bad about it and, hell, I feel the worst of all, but he’s just right.”

Kevin adjusts his embrace, “You’ll get better. I know you will. But I'm serious about taking time off from live performances, try what the doctors are suggesting."

“Yeah, stop the whole tour so I can drag you guys down with me—“

“Don’t.” Kevin says, and it’s only said more sternly because he’s begging this time.

Brian respects his wishes and they’re quiet for a little longer. After a thin sigh, he finally allows himself to tilt his head back to rest against Kevin, smiling in a very fragile way. He can see Kevin is focused on the cars below, but Brian can’t stop staring at his cousin’s reflection. When he speaks again it is on a new topic,

“I thought we said we weren’t going to do this anymore.”

“We’re not doing anything,” Kevin says tiredly, eyes lost a few stories below.

“I remember a few somethings that started from not-doing-anythings.”

“Hmm,” Kevin acknowledges him with a small noise.

“I miss you sometimes,” Brian admits quietly because he seems to be in a confessing mood. The words, of course, mean so much more because of their context. They saw each other nearly every day. Kevin knows what he means.

“If you need me tonight…” Kevin says before trailing off. It is clear that he lets the words fall from him before decides whether or not they are the right thing to say. He goes quiet immediately afterwards but Brian fills the silence before Kevin can retract his offer,

“You’d be okay with that?”

“Look, the reasons we stopped in the first place are still there. Kristin and Leighanne. The band,” a quick pause, “The fact that we’re fucking cousins.”

Despite themselves, they both manage to smile and huff an almost-laugh. That had become a nonissue long ago. Kevin continues,

“But I miss you, too. And I know I haven’t been there for you as much as I’ve wanted to through this whole Dysphonia shit.”

Brian shrugs against him, finally starting to feel somewhat better, “You did what you could.”

“I wanted to do more.”

At last, Brian turns around and Kevin’s arms fall from him. He faces him and they stare at each other with a blissful exhaustion, like they know they’re both smarter than this. Like they can’t believe they’re signing up for the same complications after a full decade plus one very long day in a board room.

But Kevin is beautiful, always has been. He’s tall with those green eyes and model cheekbones. He’s older now, too, which Brian can see in his face. It’s a different kind of beautiful than when he was in his twenties, but Brian adores it just as much.

It’s a stronger type of beautiful, wiser, aged but not worn. Inevitably, Brian decides he would love nothing more than to once again have those long legs over his shoulders.

Brian is the first to move into the kiss but Kevin meets him there and it’s as effortless as it was back then. Brian cups Kevin’s face and they let themselves have this. A short step backwards is all it takes for Brian to be leaning against the glass wall, pulling Kevin with him.

They taste into each other until they’re panting. The goatee is a new experience but Brian welcomes it all, grabs for anything and everything Kevin is willing to give him.

When Brian finally tilts his head back against the window, eyes lidded and mouth agape, Kevin leans in to place a particularly chaste kiss directly on his voice box.

And in that moment Brian feels that, maybe, everything would be okay.

 

 


End file.
